The Intimacy Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us best site feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

However when problems develop, those who fall into the see this Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen click this link into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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