The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify look at more info by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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